Local Revision: Variety

Fathromi Ramdlon, Legal Illegal Choose Choice, 12/23/2015, via Pixabay, Public Domain Distribution License

1: From what I can tell, I have quite a large variety of sentence structures I choose from. I mostly use compound sentences, but complex and simple sentences appear more than once in a while throughout the guide, so I feel as though the assortment of my sentences is good. One thing of note is my excessive use of the semi-colon. I love the semi-colon; it connects two ideas, such as a term and a meaning, into a single thought or, in the case of syntax, sentence. As much as I love this punctuation, I feel as though I need to relax on this trait since semi-colons are hardly used at all outside of my writing. I feel as though my use of the semi-colon may be so excessive it becomes distracting.

2: The beginning of the guide had great transitions between pictures, videos, hyperlinks, and actual analysis, but as the article continue, I ran out of sources to choose from and insert. The transitions are healthy at the beginning, but near the end of the guide, I feel as though there is just a bunch of reading for my audience. The paragraphs themselves work out really well because of the organizations of the guide via key questions. These questions guide the writing from one point to the next really appropriately, so I don't want to mess with that part of my organization.

3: One of my main weakness is my inappropriate use of vocabulary. I try too hard to be like Jane Austen or Aldous Huxley, and often go off in a quasi-poetic style of writing. This isn't really fitting for a thing like the Quick Reference Guide of an educational controversy, so I feel as though I actually need to cut back on my vocabulary. And example of my overindulgence is my verbs list; I use a surplus of specific active verbs in my writing. Although I stated I wanted more of these verbs, I don't want more colorful writing throughout the entirety of my piece since it may take away from my goal of purely informing my audience. My use of colorful verbs are for clarity of language while my use of colorful vocabulary will only hinder translating this clarity into actual cold hard statistics and information.